Who are you? What have you sacrificed?

Barda, the capital of the ancient kingdom of Caucasian Albania. The kingdom does not exist, but Barda is still there as part of the Republic of Azerbaijan. There is a lot about the ancient kingdom in Greek, Latin, Armenian and Arabic sources. Some of these sources also talk about Prince Juansher, the ruler of the kingdom who apparently fought Persians and Arabs. The figure of Juansher looms large in the works of Azeri historians and some have even produced maps like this (how cool is that?!): 

But what do we actually know about Juansher? I am going to have to find out in 2015! 

Happy New Year! 

Mangalyaan

On September 24th an Indian spacecraft, Mangalyaan, flew to Mars. To be more specific, it flew into orbit just above Mars. Below is the first photo it captured:

'We have achieved near the impossible' says Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, puffed with pride for his country. Mr. Modi's twitter followers have now reached 6.6 followers which makes him second after President Barack Obama. The Economist reports that Prime Minister Modi communicates with everyone through twitter himself and sees no need for journalists. 

Modi said: 'Today, the Mars Orbiter Mission (MOM) has met Mangal (Mars). Today Mangal has got Mom. The time this mission was short named as Mom, I am sure that Mom won't disappoint us.'

It's a good thing to have a mother, everyone needs one, and Mars has one too now. The Earth is not just our mother after all. 

Insights from Baku

I spent the last two months in Baku. To be more precise it was in the outskirts of Baku that I spent hours watering our little garden of roses, grapes and figs that we grow there.

Being in such close contact with the earth is an interesting feeling. As you are under 50 degrees heat and you water your plants, you can't help but feel their thirst and enjoy the watering emotionally. Then every morning, at dawn, you wake up to see these beauties grow bigger and more beautiful. It is incredibly inspiring to see the earth give birth to so much goodness...

Then at some point, as you enjoy the beauty of these creations, you can't help but think: how did evil come into this world? Did it grow from a seed? What seed did it grow from? Which plant brought it in? What root did it grow from? How did it find its way into our earth? Maybe it is the sky that is evil and the falling rain carries the evil on earth? These questions remain unanswered for me..And most importantly:  Did this evil sneak into me too?

I spent some time thinking about these questions and the only thing that helped ease my mind was to carry on watering and believing that my plants will only bring goodness to our earth.

Feeling 22 acting 17

Happiness is being almost 31, going to one of the best schools in the world with smartest people in the world, and dreaming like a little girl full of naivety! 

Merry Christmas!

         If you google the phrase "Churches under Muslim rule", you will mostly read: "death to churches under Islam." This is quite sad, not only because it sounds sad, but because it is not true.

But before I carry on, I must say that my intention is not to start talking about what a peaceful religion Islam is, nor I intend to apologise for anything. 

My intention, as a student of Islamic Studies and History, is to share some information from historical sources. 

The history of church building is relatively well documented and thus it is possible to see what the situation with church construction was in the early conquest period of Islam. There are, for example, epigraphic, documentary and literary evidences of the continuation of church building in Edessa and a vibrant church and monastic culture during the seventh and eighth centuries in Mosul. 

There are many examples, such as the ones in the Life of Simeon of the Olives who wished to build churches and monasteries in Nibis, and succeeded in getting a letter from the Arab governor saying that the 'laws of the Christians' be respected in the Arabs' territory.'

Another example is in Syriac from Life of Gabriel of Qartmin, the metropolitan bishop of Dara from 634 to 648. Here is what it says: 

"Now this Mor Gabriel went to the court of the sovereign of the Arabs, who was 'Umar the son of Khattab, in the city of Jazire. He was received with great gladness and after a few days the Blessed One [i.e. Gabriel] petitioned the commander and received his written authority concerning the statutes and laws and orders and warnings and judgements and observances pertaining to the Christians; to churches and monasteries; and to priests and deacons, that they should not pay the head tax and to monks that they should be exempt from tribute, and that the use of wooden gong would not be banned; and that they might practise the chanting of anthems at the bier of dead man when he leaves his house to be taken for burial, together with many other customs. The sovereign was pleased that the Blessed One had come to him; and the holy man returned to the abbey with great joy."

The above mentioned is certainly a very brief peek into the early history of church construction under the Muslim rule, and there are certainly cases of restrictions and prohibitions, however, nothing can change the fact that Christians enjoyed their usual way of life and religious customs under the early Muslim rule. 

It is unfortunate that there is much ignorance around this subject these days, but as the saying goes: "You are now ignorant, as we are now ignorant, of how things were at the beginning."

"Who gets up early to discover the moment light begins?" Rumi

Rumi  -- someone whose poems I read all the time. I always wondered though: when did he have time to write all of his works, when his main message is: "sell your cleverness
 and buy bewilderment."?

If you look up his major works it says: 27000 lines of Persian poetry, 35000 Persian couplets, 2000 Persian quatrains, 90 ghazals, 19 quatrains in Arabic, a couple of dozen couplets in Turkish and Greek!!!!!

              When did this man have time to go crazy???

Then, I thought, maybe he had his own way of going crazy?

Most of my answers came when I read about the emergence of first ascetics/mystics in early 9th century . Apparently, the word ascetic which derives from the Greek word askesis means training, exercise/discipline. The actual word athlete comes from this term too. Being ascetic meant that you would be extremely self-disciplined and would follow a very strict regime in your life to reach whatever spiritual goal you had.

Rumi says: "In this mob of I's inside, which one is me? Hear me out. I know I am wandering, but don't start putting a lid on this racket. No telling what I'll do then. Every moment I'm thrown by your story. One moment it's happy, and I'm singing. One moment it's sad, and I am weeping. It turns bitter, and I pull away. But then you spill a little grace, and just like that, I'm all light. It's not so bad, this arrangement, actually." 

He seems to be following his path and following the wave of his inner ocean, wherever it may take him. To me he is like a surfer who loved the waves but also, as time went by, would also train himself to direct the waves of the ocean to explore the endless waters...

In his exploring he trained himself to overcome fear of pain quickly as he believed that it was pain that gave him that quality of experience. It is difficult to understand and accept this , but I love his saying:  "You can recognise a man on the path to God by the scars in his heart...

I started by his quote: "Who gets up early to discover the moment light beings?". When I first read it, I thought he just means inner light, etc. But as I discovered the endless amount of effort that he put into his work I realised, he must be getting up very early in the morning just to do that.

Just once around the sun.

This year at Oxford is over. My last day was June 17, when I had to take an Arabic exam. That day, I took the Oxford tube from London and travelled for the last time this year.
The exam went well, we caught up with my friends afterwards for some drinks and it was amazing to recall how much we went through during this one year.
We all had our own difficulties this year, I know mine very well. One of the most challenging thing for me was to travel to Oxford from London every day in the first term. Every day, I would take the Oxford tube very early in the morning and travel for more than an hour. Going back was even longer...
It was especially challenging with a very complicated Arabic teacher who would make things much more difficult for me (us) than they already were. And of course, the endless amount of material to read, write, present, study.
My journeys were particularly interesting: with different drivers, people and at different times. Things had their own uniqueness at different times of the day. I remember once getting on the bus for a seminar which was at 4 and so I got on quite late and decided to go sit upstairs (which i usually never do). An old couple was sitting behind me and I enjoyed their conversation tremendously. I think they were artists and as we passed along the beautiful fields and blue skies, they would find something attractive and meaningful in everything. It was not just a silly talk, but a very interesting view of two artists in love with nature. I enjoyed that travel most of all and had a great time looking around through their eyes.

What a long year! I have learned so much, have met so many wonderful people, but most importantly I have changed significantly as I have come a bit closer to my dream.

I am grateful to everyone who has made this year so interesting and meaningful.

A year seems to be a long time. But in fact, it is not so long. Just once around the sun.

Super Best Friends Forever

I was chatting to my friend today and telling him how much I enjoyed listening to "Jesus Christ Superstar" this morning and how much I would like to have "Muhammad Superstar." He looked at me and said: "We would ALL die!"
After this not a very much promising phrase, he showed me something that reminded me once again why "Muhammad Superstar" will not be happening in my lifetime.
Apparently, the Super Best Friends Episode of South Park which was aired in 2001 in which Muhammad is shown many times went unnoticed and noone really did make a big deal out of it.

Muhammad standing next to Jesus and having Jesus's arm around him, wearing colourful clothes etc had caused no controversy and was totally cool with everyone?! 

No. not really.

In 2005, during the Muhammad cartoon controversy, this episode gets noticed and as the South Park people get threatened by some Muslim groups, the episode is taken down completely. 

Now, it is clear that "Muhammad Superstar" is not happening in the near future. What is not clear is: Are we moving backwards in time? 

"Learn the rules and then play better." Albert Einstein

Good news today -- a new Minister of Education was appointed in Azerbaijan. The reason I think this is good news is because I know him personally and believe in him. I used to work with him when I was very young and unexperienced and he was one of those very few people who could give good advice. Now, there is always a problem with good advice -- usually, young people with a bit of insanity (like me) are quite dangerous to give good advice to -- if you take away their insanity, you break their dreams...

In short, this piece is not about praising the new Minister. This piece is about asking the new Minister for more insanity! Mr. Minister, please, Baku needs crazy professors, mad teachers and insane instructors in order to help Baku to re-learn to dream. 

So, Mr. Minister, once you learn all the new rules at this new job, please play better: let us dream!

Eternal Sunshine of spotless mind

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!


The world forgetting, by the world forgot.


Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!


Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;

I recently came back from Baku and had a feeling that this poem applies to many people I know there. People with dreams, woke up one day to find out that their dreams are broken and they look around and see that what they believe in does not exist any more...

New things are happening in Baku, some good, some bad. There is a new beginning... Can we relearn to dream in Baku?

AzerDream1

Yesterday, Azerbaijan launched its first satellite in space. I enjoyed watching it online as I think that there is something magical about satellite launches -- taking off with an enormous speed and destroying everything on its way just to reach its dream, to reach the stars!
Although this is Azerbaijan's first satellite in space, it is not Azerbaijan's first encounter with space. Karim Karimov, a Soviet Azerbaijani scientist was one of the men behind the first man in space, Yuri Gagarin. Karim Karimov was the chairman of Soviet Aeronautics Committee who name was kept secret for a number of years due to his work with nuclear missiles.
After his retirement in 1990, he wrote a book - The Way To Space: The Notes of the Chairman of the State Committee. The book describes his work with famous Russian scientist Korolyov, their competition with the United States, the failures with the spaceships and the loss of astronauts.

Karimov was one of the many scientists who worked to make Gagarin possible. I like the fact that he was Azerbaijani, it makes me feel proud and it gives me faith that one day, there will be new Azerbaijani scientists who will send an Azerbaijani astronaut into space in a spaceship called AzerDream1.  

Adding faith to faith

How did the Muslim rulers see themselves after Prophet Muhammad? I was trying to find this out last week and came across something I was not expecting. They considered themselves as deputy's of God on Earth -- no more nor less. 

In their mind, God continued to keep the Muslim community under his protection by having his deputies implement his laws on earth.

This approach however changes as we see the scholars stepping into the scene and depriving the Caliphs of their spiritual role by nominating themselves as the spiritual leaders.

What does all this tell us about the positioning of the early rulers vis-à-vis Prophet Muhammad?

From the sources that we have, it is clear that the early Caliphs were positioning themselves on the same level and possibly higher than Prophet Muhammad and considered themselves to be as important for the Muslim community as Prophet Muhammad, whose task was to bring the message of God to the Muslims and empower them to continue the implementation of the divine law on earth.

Snow is beautiful.

"Snow is the precipitation in the form of flakes of crystalline water that fall from the clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless subjected to external pressures."
The abovementioned is the definition of  what snow is -- scientifically.
This is a very useful definition and I am sure many people have and are working for the purposes of studying snow.  But I hope they do not forget one important thing -- that snow is also beautiful!
The beauty, the magic seems to get lost in the endless efforts of understanding things. It is the same in everything, and of course I mean my studies.
You ride on your passion to get to where you want and once you get there, everyone tries to keep telling you that you must question everything, the passion you rode on, the path that took you there, and everything that is a part of your journey. I do not mind doing that, in fact, I enjoy that, but please can we also remember that is is beautiful?
It is almost midnight, and as I watch the snowflakes fall under the dim light of my kitchen balcony -- I think to myself of the snowy days in Baku, when I would spend hours playing with friends. Wherever it falls -- snow is beautiful!

Baku -- the city of dreams.

I have just come back from Baku. It was a fun trip -- my daughter's first birthday, the New Year celebrations and many other new meetings, etc.
The city is growing, changing very fast. It is only the Caspian Sea  -- calm, relaxed, romantic.. and the strong winds -- severe, cold but predictable that have remained the same.
I walked along the Caspian and thought a lot about Baku. I thought how beautiful Baku is and how everything that is changing, both good and bad, create many new ways and opportunities to love Baku.
The flame towers that rise from the centre of the city seemed to me as a decision that Baku has made -- the city is burning with desire to grow, to let the world know about it and to let the world love it! There are still many things to change, improve, develop in Azerbaijan. But Baku, the capital city,  has made its decision. Baku wants to tell its story to the world.
What can I do for Baku? I also want to tell the world about this amazing city where so much has happened and so little is known about. The city where my friends, family and I have learned to dream. Baku -- the city of dreams!

Is there a third way?

In about year 610, an Arab merchant had an experience that would ultimately change the history of the world. This is how I started my essay which I had written during the last week of the first term at Oxford. As you could probably guess I am speaking of Prophet Mohammad here.
Apparently every single part of my first sentence can be much scrutinised and easily doubted in historiography. Was it really the year 610? Was Mohammad an Arab? Was he a merchant? Was it all really happening in Mecca? Where is Mecca? and most importantly -- did Muhammad really exist?
The list of questions is endless and one can really go on with these debates for a very very long period of time. I enjoy looking and studying all these methods and exploring the research tools and ways of looking at history in general, but what strikes me as the most extraordinary thing is the division of scholars.
 One group, that is called revisionists, say that they reject the Islamic traditional accounts as they cannot be trusted and the others, traditionalists, say that the revisionists are wrong and that the Islamic historical accounts are all true and cannot be doubted.
These debates have been going on for a long time, and one thing has become obvious to me: At the heart of these divided camps lies a big fear of committing the deadly sin of irrationality on the side of the former and the deadly sin of infidelity on the side of the latter, none of which can be considered serious in historiography.
But is there a third way?
 There seem to be many intelligent historians who understand these problems and try to do as much as possible in order to provide us with the most accurate information as possible. However, the number of those who blindly reject these attempts and try to do everything to create confusion is growing.

But I think we, the new generation of historians who are interested in understanding more about Islam and Prophet Mohammad must understand that apparently, intelligence is not enough, we must bring passion in. It is only with intelligence AND passion that we can maybe find the third way that everyone is looking for.

Education in the service of a dream

These weeks have been very busy for me -- I have been studying a lot. I am studying Arabic, which is considered to be the main tool in what I do, because with the help of this language I am going to research the materials that will be needed for my thesis. This is how you say it academically. If I put it my own language, it means -- I need to learn Arabic so that I can work on my dream project.
It is very interesting when you have a dream. In the beginning, you think you are very very special and unique and there is noone like you. Then, you become a part of a group where people are similar and by the end of the day you understand that actually -- you are all the same.
You come to a class, let's say Arabic, and you complain to yourself that you are wasting your time learning where to put this dot or that circle, when in your head you have such a great dream!
In other words, you think that you know it all and that there is no need to learn more, you just need to go and do it. You know they say: you don't need no education, all you need is inspiration. I think there is another approach to this. I think we need education to serve our dream.

There is an incredible amount of smart, intelligent and decent people we need to learn from. There are many books we need to read and many sleepless nights to work. We need to do all this, because we have a dream!

Are you mad enough to do it?

The first week at Oxford was intense. In one week your life changes completely -- you become a student again, going to school, with homework and reading to do etc.
Then there is so much unnecessary information that does not directly relate to what you want to study. There is structure, methodology, and many many other things that seems to intentionally distract you from what you really are interested in and what you really want to study.
And the difficult thing is, these things cannot be ignored or neglected -- they are a part of the "process" and you must participate.
There are also lots of people involved. Usually fellow students are fine, but it is the lecturers, doctors, professors and their egos you must deal with, too. But this is the case everywhere else, isn't it?
However, that is not the question. The question is are you mad enough to do it? Because one's got to be mad enough to go through this with a dream and not give up.

I hope we are all mad enough!

The University of Oxford -- a place to dream?

This Tuesday I went for my Induction day to Oxford.

Oxford is a beautiful little town -- very spiritual in my mind. The reason I say this is that as I was walking by those magnificent, ancient buildings and architectural sites, I could almost feel the spirit of those scientists and scholars who walked those streets many centuries ago, passed those buildings, studied in them, lived in them and most of them carried a dream inside!

I entered one of those buildings, where we had the Induction. As I was listening to every speaker speak, I also wanted to have a feel of what they really talked about: Was it a dream that had brought them here? Are we all - people who have come here today - united by a dream? 

Later on we were divided into small groups in accordance with our programs of study. There were 13 of us and as we introduced ourselves and talked about our main interests I could see and feel in the eyes of every one of us that twinkle, the twinkle of a dream! But the question is: Are we going to be able to persevere with a dream at Oxford? I do not know. As Paul McCartney said in his song:

"When will it be right? I don't know

What will it be like? I don't know

We live in hope of deliverance from the darkness that surrounds us!"

Dream project

The first time I left Baku, the city where I was born and raised, was in 1999. Since then, I have been coming and going and frankly speaking I have always been trying to do everything to leave. I always wondered: why?
Recently, I was able to find the answer or rather put my mixed feelings into words and that is probably why I decided to start this blog.
I discovered that it has become impossible to dream in Baku.
The city where my childhood dreams were born did not seem to support them any more. What caused this? I do not know. But why would I spend time speculating? Instead, I decided to find out what I could do to re-learn to dream in Baku.
Funny enough, I live in London now.  And it is in London that I was able to analyse my feelings and maybe detach myself from the strong emotions and find a way of dealing with this.
I am starting my studies at Oxford next month. I will be studying Islamic Studies and History, focusing on the Islamic past of Azerbaijan and how it gave rise to a new culture, focusing on Baku.
Baku and especially the Old town (Icheri sheher) is full of the material culture inspired by Islam.

Islam is apparently the only religion where religious rituals have been assisted by scientific procedures. The organisation of the lunar calendar, the regulation of the astronomically defined times of prayer, and the determination of the sacred direction of the Kaaba in Mecca -- are all the religious rituals supported by scientific work.
To me this means that Muslim scientists dreamt of creating scientific methods that would allow them to pray properly -- to dream!
Somehow there is something fascinating about finding out how a scientist worked so hard for the purpose of religion.
Baku -- was home to many of these scientists. I know nothing about them, but am determined to find out.
This is what I think I can do to re-learn to dream in Baku -- the city of dreams!